How to make a 'poisoned' apple cake

Directions

1. Set your oven to gas mark 4, 180°C (160°C fan). Lightly grease 2 deep 20cm cake tins and line their bottoms and sides with baking paper. In a mixing bowl, sift together 350g plain flour, 2 tbsp cocoa powder, 2 tsp baking powder, and 1 tsp bicarbonate of soda. Add 300g light soft brown sugar and 1 tsp fine salt, stirring until combined. In a large jug, whisk together 200ml vegetable oil, a 284ml pot of buttermilk, 1 tbsp vanilla extract, 4 tsp red food colouring gel, and 50ml water. Crack in the 3 eggs and whisk until smooth. Pour this wet mixture into the dry ingredients and whisk just until combined. Divide the batter evenly between the two tins and bake for 35-40 minutes, until risen and a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. Let the cakes rest in the tins for 10 minutes, then turn them out onto a wire rack to cool completely. While they cool, start the toffee apples: remove the stalks from 3 red apples and push a wooden skewer firmly into each apple about halfway, making sure it's secure. Line a baking tray with baking paper.
2. In a medium-large saucepan, combine 200g caster sugar, ½ tsp lemon juice, and 50ml water. Warm over low heat for 3-4 minutes until the sugar has dissolved. Then stop stirring—just gently swirl the pan occasionally to help it cook evenly. Never stir the mixture while it's boiling, as that can cause the sugar to crystallize and become grainy.
3. Stir in 2 tbsp golden syrup, then increase the heat to medium. Let the mixture bubble gently for 4-5 minutes, watching carefully, until it reaches 150°C on a sugar thermometer (the 'hard crack' stage). If you don't have a thermometer, drop a teaspoonful of the toffee into a bowl of cold water; it should instantly harden and turn brittle. If not, continue heating for another minute or two and test again.
4. Holding each apple by its skewer, dip it into the hot toffee, turning to coat evenly. Tilt the pan slightly to help cover the apple completely. Lift it out, allowing excess to drip off, then transfer to the lined baking tray. While the toffee is still set but a bit soft, gently wiggle and twist the skewer to remove it. If the toffee starts to set before you finish, gently reheat the pan to soften it again.
5. For the cream cheese icing, beat together 150g salted butter (room temperature) and 400g icing sugar until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in 200g full-fat soft cheese, a spoonful at a time, then add 1 tsp vanilla extract and beat until smooth. Slice each cooled cake horizontally into two even layers (so you have 4 layers total). For a neat finish, cut a shallow guide line about 0.5cm deep around each cake before slicing through with a large serrated bread knife. Sandwich the layers together with a few tablespoons of icing between each. Spread the remaining icing thickly over the top and sides, using a palette knife or scraper to create a flat top and smooth sides. Then use a knife to swirl the icing around the sides from bottom to top, forming slight ridges. Do the same on the top, starting in the centre and working outwards. Refrigerate the cake for 1 hour.
6. While the cake chills, line another baking tray with nonstick baking paper. Melt 75g dark chocolate in a heatproof bowl set over a pan of gently simmering water. Once melted, transfer it to a small piping bag or a freezer bag with a tiny snipped corner. Pipe 15-20 chocolate trees of various sizes onto the baking paper. For best results, let the chocolate cool to almost room temperature before piping—this helps the trees hold their shape. You can draw a template on the underside of the paper and trace over it. Chill the trees for 15 minutes, or until completely firm.
7. Spoon some of the finely crushed bourbon cream biscuits into the centre of the cake. Arrange the toffee apples on top, pressing them gently into the icing to secure. Spoon a bit more crushed biscuit around the edges of the apples, then press the remaining biscuit around the base of the cake, creating a slightly wavy border. Stick the chocolate trees onto the sides of the cake, pressing lightly into the icing. Arrange a few more trees around and between the toffee apples, pressing them gently into the sponge to hold them in place. Slice and serve.